Letter From the Editor: On Yelling At Your Reactive Dog
I sat with my dog on my porch last week, as we like to do in the evenings. He likes to throw toys in the air and roll around in the dirt, and I like to watch him live his best dog life. Our yard time almost always includes various people walking by – families with small kids, people commuting to and from their jobs, and plenty of dogs going on walks with their owners. And last week, we had a front row seat to the very reason I started this website: frustrated owners who don’t realize their behavior is hindering their dog’s success.
I heard them before I saw them. A woman frustratingly shouting: “Winston! Stop it!” I knew my dog was going to run up to the fence and add to her frustration, so I called him over and put his leash on. Slowly, they made their way into my line of vision: a brown labrador retriever pulling far ahead of the owner, clearly against her will. The shouting continued.
At this point, she hadn’t noticed me. It was too late to sneak inside without drawing even more attention, so I just pretended to have a strong interest in my phone. The “Winston!” shouts continued, and she began to aggressively yank the leash back.
A few steps later, she stopped to yell once more, this time adding a quick smack on his snout. “Bad! Bad! Bad!” she shouted. Finally, after two more stressful steps, she yanked his leash in the other direction, declaring the walk over. “You’re done. That’s it,” she said.
Reactive dog owners often need more education
I don’t want to cast too much judgment on this failed walk I witnessed. I wouldn’t have started this website if I hadn’t found myself frustrated beyond belief with my own dog’s behavior. But living in a big city, I see so many reactive dog owners making training mistakes that actively hinder their dog’s success.
The reality of owning a reactive dog is that you often need to learn more about dog behavior in general. Addressing the root of the behavior is crucial. In some cases, the reactivity is attributed to a medical problem. But often, it’s the dog responding to a trigger in a way that doesn’t match the situation.
This website didn’t initially look like this. My first idea stemmed from annoyance at other dog owners letting their off-leash dogs approach mine. It stemmed from frustration at what I considered bad dog ownership in general.
But I eventually realized that’s not an effective way to make change. Change starts with education and understanding. Most dog owners have good intentions, even if they don’t display the “right” behavior toward their dogs. In creating this website, I wanted to give owners grace while equipping them with new skills and strategies to better navigate their dog’s behavior.
The emotional toll of a reactive dog
Owning a reactive dog can be exhausting. It’s important that dog owners understand their own capacity so they can work with their dog when they’re in the right state of mind. There’s no point in working with your dog if you’re already frustrated and in a bad state of mind.
We’ve previously covered how to cope with the emotional toll of owning a reactive dog, complete with advice from multiple licensed therapists. That’s one of my favorite articles to date because it focuses on the human, which I think is often forgotten about in these conversations. The woman I witnessed struggling with her dog was already far past her ability to implement any training skills she knew. And that’s a huge hindrance to everyone’s success.
I’m a freelance writer and keep track of all my website analytics on a regular basis. Since I started this reactive dog training website, I’ve noticed a Google search that brings a lot of people to my website: “I hate my reactive dog.” I’m not advocating for that mindset, but I am happy that some reactive dog owners are at least stumbling upon this site and potentially equipping themselves with at least one bit of knowledge that can make their life easier and prevent them from rehoming their pet.
Stop yelling, start learning
I know it’s easier said than done, but there’s a big truth here: dogs don’t understand why their owners yell at them. They just remember the fear they feel, further causing a strain in their relationship with their human.
The more knowledge reactive dog owners have, the more they can re-center themselves and naturally veer toward better decisions. Most reactive dogs can get better, but it’s important for owners to set realistic expectations and definitions of success.
Don’t Worry, He’s Friendly helps reactive dogs thrive in the city. Check out our other articles to learn more about reactive dog training.
Written by: Macey Wolfer
Macey Wolfer is a freelance writer from Seattle. She wants to see more confident dogs and owners with a lower rate of shelter surrenders.
This content is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional veterinary, behavioral, or training advice.