Reactive Dog Ruining Your Life? Read This Before You Give Up
This post is going to be less about actionable reactive dog training tips and more about the emotional toll having a reactive dog can take on an owner. But it’s also going to dig into why you shouldn’t give up just yet.
Dog reactivity doesn’t come out of nowhere. It has a root cause and that means it also has a potential solution. If your reactive dog is ruining your life, consider reframing the situation, researching more about dog psychology and reactivity, and reaching out to a professional if needed. Rehoming should always be the very last resort.
The emotional toll of dog reactivity
Most people envision their future as a dog owner as one filled with joyful walks, puppy kisses, and plenty of adventures. They rarely consider the extremely common flip side: a scared, anxious, hypervigilant dog that makes going out in public a nightmare.
If your dog is reactive, you might find yourself grieving that future you once envisioned. You might feel inadequate as a dog owner and guilty for not meeting your furry friend’s needs. Going out with your dog might make you anxious and having other people witness your dog’s reactivity can lead to shame and embarrassment.
Let me stop you right there. You’re not inadequate and you’re not a bad dog owner. Moreover, you’re not doomed to a lifetime of dog reactivity. Your dog can change when you put in the consistent effort to build their confidence and move through the world differently.
Root causes of dog reactivity
Several factors can cause dog reactivity. None of them have to do with your dog being bad or trying to ruin your life.
One of the most common causes of reactivity is fear and anxiety. An anxious or fearful dog does not move through the world with confidence and feels threatened by outside factors. They are often trying to pre-emptively protect themselves from the dangers of the outside world, even if it seems like nothing is scary.
Other causes of reactivity include health issues, frustration, sensory overload, genetic, and past trauma.
I can’t diagnose the root cause of your dog’s reactivity. If you’re not sure what to attribute it to, it may be helpful to see a professional trainer or veterinarian for a closer assessment.
Your reactive dog isn’t ruining your life, you just need to reframe the situation
At times, it can feel like a reactive dog is sabotaging your wellbeing. If you’ve ever felt that way, I’m willing to bet it was during or after a particularly frustrating situation. Maybe your dog wouldn’t stop barking at other dogs or they lunged at another person while walking. Whatever the case, your emotions were heightened and it felt like you were never going to move past this behavior.
That doesn’t have to be the case. But you aren’t going to make progress if you stick to that mindset.
How to reset your mindset when dealing with dog reactivity
Remember that your dog uses its behavior to communicate, not to piss you off. If they’re being reactive, it’s because they’re communicating some frustration or fear. They aren’t out to get you or shame you in public. They’re past their threshold and can’t control their reaction.
When your dog is reactive, no matter how frustrating, remember that they’re communicating something to you. They have surpassed what they can emotionally handle and they need you to dial it back. You won’t be successful pushing past this. Instead, you can take it as a signal to move a few steps back and work your way back to this position.
While it’s good to have goals for your reactive dog, don’t get hung up on timelines. Reactive dog training moves slowly. You can’t expect to see results in a few minutes, hours, or even days (though you often can see a lot of results in a few days with careful work!)
Don’t think about fixing your dog. Think about helping them find their confidence and move through the world in a better way. Think about you two working as a team. When something’s wrong with your dog, you can work together to solve it. It’s not you against them.
And remember that patience and distance are your friend. You will need to go into your training with the mindset that you aren’t going to solve the problem in a day. You’re taking babysteps toward a better future.
When in doubt, keep distance from your dog’s triggers and keep patience in your heart. You’ll work it out.
Dog reactivity is a symptom, not a permanent state
Reactive dogs don’t act that way for fun. They’re communicating fear, anxiety, overstimulation, and even pain. Your job as their owner is to work with them to ease them out of this state and move them toward a more confident life.
You can train a reactive dog to move through the world in a more positive way. Maybe that means a trip to the vet for an assessment or maybe it means considering a professional trainer. But for many people, it means getting to know the root cause of dog reactivity and working to fix it.
There are cases where rehoming is the best option. But for many, many, many dogs, they just need more time and patience. They need an owner that understands they’re experiencing fear and complex emotions and is willing to work through it with them. They need someone who shows up everyday, even imperfectly. Because that is so much better than giving up.
Don’t Worry, He’s Friendly helps reactive dogs in urban spaces thrive. Check out our other blogs to learn more.
This content is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional veterinary, behavioral, or training advice.